Hey there,
My name is Esther Kinuthia and I've spent 99% of My Life being delusional. When I was 5 years old, I was convinced I was going to be a neurosurgeon. And for a very long time during my childhood years, Ben Carson was my role model.
But then I joined high school and my Biology teacher killed my dreams of being a surgeon. Not because she was a monster, but because she made me realise the intensity of this career path, for example, having to study with dead bodies.
It might be more than 15 years ago now, but, I remember the moment I had to let go of the neurosurgeon dream. I battled with myself internally because I wondered if letting go of this dream meant I am a person who gives up on Life.
I had to go talk to my Dad, my biggest cheerleader in Life. He told me that it doesn't make me a failure to let go of this dream. He said that as children we have dreams but they can evolve as we get older since we get to know ourselves better.
And so I listened. I let go of the shame and never looked back.
I spent most of high school unsure which career path I wanted to pursue. I had spent so much time wanting to become a neurosurgeon and now that was all gone. Nothing else seemed to resonate and in fact , I finished high school without knowing what I want to do in Life. I will tell you this much though, I loved being an entrepreneur in high school. One time, I made $8 profit after investing $2 to buy snacks which I sold to students. I did get a detention for it , I think, but I have never forgotten how exciting it was to be the business mogul of the class.
At the end of high school, my classmates were sharing all these exciting plans to go study abroad. For context, I went to a posh high school, and literally everyone was doing applications to go study in the UK, Australia and so on. This was not a dream for me to have, and I was never jealous of my classmates. On the contrary, I felt privileged to be around people that are going aboard for university. It was incredibly exciting to just sit and listen to them talk about their applications and which country was their top choice.
I didn't even contribute to the conversation, I felt I had nothing interesting to add onto anyway. I just sat there and listened to them talk as if it was my favourite Netflix show, and indeed, it was at that point of My Life.
Soon after the results came out, my classmates headed to Jommo Kenyatta National Airport to kick off their new lives abroad, and I remained back in Kenya. My Dad got me excited about learning French at Alliance Française Nairobi as I wait to figure out what to do in university. 6 months later, I realised that all my classmates were now enrolled in university and I still didn't know what I wanted to do. I panicked. I felt left behind.
My eldest Brother had just gotten married and since I liked his wife, I decided to do the same course she did in university. Like I said, I had spent so much of My Life wanting to become a neurosurgeon that I didn't know what else I could be. My Dad also validated the decision to pursue a Bachelor of Commerce, perhaps, in hindsight, he knew that I was destined to be an entrepreneur long before I could realise it myself.
And so I enrolled to Strathmore University to pursue a Bachelor of Commerce. While I continued enjoying my Life in Kenya, I also looked forward to going on Facebook to look at the pictures my former high school classmates were posting. It was an opportunity to see Life in London, Manchester, Leeds, Kuala Lumpur and all the other cities they had gone to study in. Still, I never dreamt of joining them one day. I genuinely didn't even think about it. I couldn't possibly imagine that I too could one day study abroad. It felt like "that's something meant for others, NOT me". It sounds sad but I was happy with what I believed was accessible/meant for Me. In fact, it was a privilege to be studying at Strathmore University, a story I will unpack in my autobiography.
Anyway, Life moved on.
I really evolved a lot in university.
On a separate blog post, I will share how I went from being a Strathmore student to working at Google Ireland within 4 years. I want to finish this blog post with a message to the younger version of me that was quietly listening to her classmates talk about how they will go study abroad and she thought she would never ever live that dream. Here goes nothing....
"Hey 15 year old Esther,
Gosh, first of all, you are so cute.
Guess what, it's you from the future. You won't believe where I am writing to you from. Are you ready?...........I AM IN IRELAND. I know you don't even know this country existed, but you have been living here for 12 years now.
Look at you, you don't believe me?
Girl, best believe this is not just a crazy dream, but a reality that came true and continues to be true.
I know you never even dreamed of this Life, so it's kind of hard for you to even understand how we got here. Well, you started blogging in university, then you got an internship at Google Kenya, then you applied for a full-time role at Google Ireland and voila, that's how you came here. I know there so many missing parts in the story, but I want you to know that's not even the best part. Girl, you now have an Irish Passport so it's not even a big deal that you live abroad, this is your home now.
I can feel this is a lot for you to take in, understandably so. Jokes on you, I am going to make it even harder for you to take it in by listing all of the educational milestones you've had abroad:
- Masters in Digital Marketing Strategy - Trinity Business School (Ireland's best university)
- Masters in Entrepreneurship & Innovation - HEC Paris (one of the top 10 business schools in the world)
- Diploma in Advanced Artificial Intelligence - University College Dublin (Ireland's second best university)
- Diploma in Irish Taxation - University College Dublin
- ITEC Certification in Makeup - certified in Ireland and accepted in 60+ countries
- ITEC Certification in Manicure & Pedicure
How did we achieve all this?
Something changed in you, you started being delusional.
You stopped limiting yourself by what is currently accessible to you.
You started to believe that perhaps, you too are deserving of having big dreams.
Looking back, I wish you gave yourself an opportunity to be a little delusional in high school, because after all, you too were destined to study abroad.
And not only were you destined to study abroad, you went to the TOP BUSINESS SCHOOLS in the world. And not once, you have 2 Masters Degrees, 2 Diplomas & 2 Certificates .
One question remains, what's our next delusional goal?
